Tragically every year thousands of parent suffer the loss of their much loved little baby’s. There really are no words to describe the grief that you suffer. Its palpable. It consumes you. But sadly, the taboo surrounding the death of child means that sometimes silence is the only thing you hear leading to the bitter feelings of loneliness and isolation. The silence can be deafening. The isolation can be full of darkness.
The care that bereaved families receive from professionals, following pregnancy loss or the death of their baby is vitally important but frustratingly varies depending on your region. Some would say it’s a bit of a post code lottery and your “Donald duck” if you manage to get the support you so badly need. I know that’s how we feel following our own experiences anyway. As you know we have suffered this part of our loss too after I spoke about this in my previous blogs Aftercare? And Mental Help? . Poor care can significantly add to the distress you are already enduring and sadly many parents do not receive the bereavement support they so desperately need.
A survey carried out in 2019 found that 60% of bereaved parents felt they needed specialist psychological support for their mental health but were not able to access it on the NHS. Those numbers are shocking and frightening to say the least. I actually wonder how accurate they are as to be honest I genuinely expected it to be higher. How are we in 2019 with one of the best health care systems in the world but failing thousands of desperate families every year? Too many left to go untreated without any care at all. I know only too well how this can lead to further complex issues which can often be triggered by the trauma and the intense feelings that grief can leave behind.
The following link to the recent report released is a real eye opener. (https://babyloss-awareness.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/BLAW-Out-of-Sight-Out-of-Mind-Report-2019.pdf). As hard as I found it to read in places due to the close to the heart content , I also found it really relatable. Maybe even strangely comforting to know that I wasn’t alone in how I’m feeling. I wasn’t alone in the way we had been treated although I wish other families didn’t need to suffer like this too. I am not alone in trying to get someone to really listen to me when I ask for help because I am not coping. What it says to me is that I’m not alone. That is sometimes all I need to know to get me through the days at the moment.
I am proud to support This Baby Loss Awareness Week and I for one am glad that all the amazing charities involved have banded together and are striving towards the UK taking immediate action and ensure that all parents who experience pregnancy or baby loss and need specialist psychological support can access it, at a time and place that is right for them, free of charge, wherever they live.
As Always For Francesca and Leo xxx
For more information on how you can get involved in Baby Loss Awareness Week 2019 please see the following links: