Guest Blog By Chrissy Steph O

Romi Arianna Lewis
Losing a child is not something that anyone should have to do. People always tell me “I don’t know how you did it”, the thing is anyone who has been through something similar knows that you don’t know how you get through it, you just do.
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My little girl was born on 25th September 2018, born with severe HIE and put on a ventilator as she wasn’t triggering her own breaths so needed help. She fought for 13 days and then took her last breaths in myself and my partners arms on 8th October. Them days in the NICU were very up and down, 1 day she was improving the next day we had more bad news and it was a rollercoaster. I feel in a way I was in denial about how poorly she actually was. Taking Romi off life support was the hardest but best decision we ever made for HER and not us, our little girl was just too beautiful for earth.
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After you lose a child you still have all your maternal instincts but no child to use them on.   1 week exactly before I found out I was pregnant with Romi the year before, the test come up positive. Filled with excitement and nerves all at the same time I thought it must be too good to be true. Pregnancy after loss is a scary time, you want to be excited about a new baby but then your mind just thinks what if it did happen again and I can’t go through that twice. It’s so scary to even think about buying him anything or doing up his nursery just in case I jinx it. When we found out HE was a HE some of the nerves disappeared as I think another little girl would have been very hard to deal with looking back. I know lightening doesn’t strike twice and we are going to bring our baby boy home from the hospital. Our 2 babies due dates are 6 days apart and I can’t wait for Romi to look down on her little brother and be so proud.
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Sleep tight my Angel in Heaven ❤
You can follow Chrissy’s story at https://www.instagram.com/chrissystepho/

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