Sticks & Stones

Sticks & Stones

"when you're a mum you'll understand".. a knife right in the gut when this was said to me whilst I was pregnant with Leo. A flippant comment made with the best intentions and it still affects me when I think about it 6 months later. In that moment I wish I had screamed that I [...]

Living or Existing?

Living or Existing?

These last 4 months since Leo was born has flew by...actually the last year since Francesca died then was born has. What has actually happened to this massive portion of my life. 2018/19 has disappeared in a haze of grief and happiness all at once. I think i've been living in some crazy twilight zone where time [...]

How Do You Cope?

How Do You Cope?

"How do you cope?". This is a question I have been asked many times since Francesca's death by other mummies in my situation and I honestly cant give you an answer. I wish I could. I wish I could send you a big  manual on how to keep going , jeez I wish someone would [...]

1 Year On …

1 Year On …

And what a year its been. Just like that our baby girls 1st birthday has been & gone. I still struggle to get my head around what has happened to us. I mean around this time last year I was in labour ready to give birth to a baby but it’s not the one I [...]

Mental Help?

Mental Help?

I previously wrote about the absolute lack of aftercare when our baby died in terms of the physical care and how it can affect the families left alone at the worst time of their lives. The other part of the aftercare that really let us down was the availability for mental health care in our area. I think [...]

Aftercare?

Aftercare?

  There are many things that let our little family down before and after Francesca died. Its something that I feel anger and upset towards each time I think back over these things and the bottom line is the support is simply not there for those in our situation. Now I can only speak from [...]

5 Months On …

5 Months On …

How did it get to July already! This year is flying by with every day being one more away from the last time we will ever see our baby girl and one more day into this grief journey that we never asked for. I have days where I catch myself just blankly staring at a wall shaking [...]