You’re My Star

I’m not really sure how to put this year’s feelings into words. It’s 4 days before Christmas and this year’s festivities have been flooded with heartache and the fact that we will always have 1 of our children missing from our arms. She will never be here to help put the baubles on the tree with her brother,

She won’t be part of the primary 1 nativity play as sadly that class doesn’t even realise there was supposed to be another special little girl starting school amongst them this year.

She will never get to write her letter to Santa or visit him to excitedly ask for all the little toys she has her eye on. If she’s anything like her baby brother then that list would be quite long.

The 2 little elves on the shelves are solely for the one little boy that lives here as his sister was taken from us too soon.

This all seems a bit doom and gloom and I was on two minds about whether to share this post but something weird happened. I sat down and opened my MacBook to a blank page as I always do when I try to write here. I never know what it is that’s in my mind willing and waiting to come out and today I nearly closed the page when Francesca’s funeral song came blaring out the Alexa. I’ve avoided that bloody song for the last 4 years which also added to my sadness as I loved it so much and even had the lyrics framed when I was pregnant with her as it was so beautiful and captured how I dreamed our lives would be as she grew up. As the song blared out, I froze and waited for the impact to hit. It did and hit hard! I wonder if that was a little sign from her to let us know she knows just how much her mummy and daddy miss her. And always will.

Here’s a copy of Francesca’s song You’re My Star by The Stereophonics.

You fly with angels wings
You’ve got my blood in your veins
And your eyes see everything
And they shine like diamond rings

You’re my Sunday
Make my Monday come alive
Just like Tuesday
You’re a new day that wakes me up

Wednesday’s raining
Thursday’s yearning
Friday nights
Then it all ends at the weekend

You’re my star
At times I cave right in (at time I cave right in)
But there’s fights we have to win (the fights we have to win)
And your songs we love to sing (la la la la la, la la la la)

May your dreams forever live (la la la la, la la la la)
You’re my Sunday
Make my Monday come alive
Just like Tuesday
You’re a new day that wakes me up

Wednesday’s raining
Thursday’s yearning
Friday nights
Then it all ends at the weekend

You’re my star
You’re my star
Yes you are
Its a thrill to see your imagination
Just watching you is an education
What’s in your mind is my fascination
It blows my mind and sets my heart a racing
You’re my Sunday
Make my Monday come alive (you make me come alive)
Just like Tuesday
You’re a new day that wakes me up (you make me come alive)
Wednesday’s raining
Thursday’s yearning
Friday nights (you make me come alive)
Then it all ends at the weekend
You’re my star