“A little Blog about trying to live life after the loss of our child while trying to be a parent to our wee miracle. Everyone’s journey in grief will take them in different paths and this is mines”.
Thank you for stopping by this little blog which I created in memory of my daughter Francesca Alexis Johnston who was tragically still born on the 8th February 2018. Our little angel made it all the way to 41+1 weeks and it was while I was in labour that we heard the words that crushed our hearts forever..” I’m so sorry but your baby has died”. In that moment our lives ended and we thought we would never smile again. Francesca was “still born” a perfectly beautiful baby girl weighing 8lbs11oz at 22.5inch long looking just like her daddy with her mummy’s hands. There’s not a day that goes by where our hearts don’t hurt without her and we wish more than anything that we could have been one of those lucky families who get to bring their baby home with them. Instead we left the hospital with a memory box and broken hearts feeling more alone than ever with an urge to create a legacy for our baby girl, terrified that people would forget that she was here too just like all their little babies were. It was in that moment I searched the tag “stillbirth” on Instagram and a whole new community opened up to me with pages full of inspirational mums and dads fighting to keep their babies memories alive too. These pages showed hope for me and in that moment I had hope that maybe I could survive this pain too. A little glimmer of hope came from within me that maybe I could create a little place in the world, sharing Francesca’s story and maybe even helping someone just like us one day and that’s where For Francesca began.
My blog has now evolved into living with grief but also pregnancy after loss then into a story of hope and happiness for us after Francesca’s little brother Leo came along in January 2019 with it bringing all new challenges of trying to be a parent with a heart full of love but also one that’s breaking a little more each day.
Our little family is now made up of me, Francesca and Leo’s daddy, Steven and her little miracle brother Leo. We also have a lovable husky completing the mix but our little family will always have one very special little girl missing but hopefully she’s right there with us looking after us from her little cloud xxx